Signs that you’re an internet modeling site noob

The Mayhem List: Signs that you’re an internet modeling site noob

Photographers

You think unanswered email solicitations are rude and unprofessional.
You bitch about it using a fake profile with stolen pictures from a well published fashion photographer.
You list your gear on your profile.

The Mayhem List: Signs that you’re an internet modeling site noob

Model: Kylie Gilcrest

Photographers

  1. You think unanswered email solicitations are rude and unprofessional..
  2. You list your gear on your profile.
  3. You list awards nobody cares about on your profile. (ie: Model Mayhem picture of the day)
  4. You think copyright is a blanket model release.
  5. You think shooting minors nude is illegal in the U.S.
  6. Your “model release” contains a model release, a usage license, a shoot agreement, last week’s shopping list, and a 5 star rating system on the model’s hotness.
  7. You show up at a shoot without confirming by phone 24 hours before.
  8. You leave it up to fate and hope the model shows up.
  9. When the model didn’t show up, you think you are the first one to suggest a model flake list.
  10. You assume the model is thinking the same thing you are thinking.
  11. You think models are actually interested in you.
  12. You think giving models all images will get you laid.
  13. You think models actually want to hear about your day in that 11 pm phone call.
  14. You think models will say yes if you ask them if you can masturbate in front of them.

Models

  1. You ask random nobodies if you have what it takes.
  2. You think a blog called a magazine is actually a magazine.
  3. You’re under 5’8”declaring you want to model fashion or become a professional agency model.
  4. You think heels count when measuring your height.
  5. You think your bra band size is your bust size.
  6. You think fat means Plus model.
  7. You have some stupid graphic on your profile saying something like “Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful”.
  8. You list awards nobody cares about on your profile. (ie: Model Mayhem picture of the day)
  9. You think a model release protects you.
  10. You leave it up to fate and hope the photographer will give you pictures.
  11. When you didn’t get pictures, you ask complete strangers what you could have done differently.
  12. You assume the photographer is thinking the same thing you are thinking.
  13. You quote America’s Next Top Model as a modeling industry source.
  14. You require all raw photos on a disk immediately following the shoot.
  15. You pay out of your own pocket to fly to another city for a “paid” job.
  16. You think models get prepaid for jobs.
  17. You think the rest of the world gives a damn about your boyfriend.
  18. You think perverts will stop asking you to get naked just by posting “Don’t ask” in your profile.
  19. You think you can hide your nudies from Google.
  20. You believe the photographer when he says your naughty bits will be in the shadows.
  21. You think fish lips is a pose.
  22. You think edgy is a look.

Makeup artist

  1. You charges kit fees for print work.
  2. You blow on the brushes to clean it.
  3. You got a great deal on MAC cosmetics on ebay.
  • Makeup artists: showing up on a set with a caboodle kit full of your own (personal) makeup. Ask that the models bring their own foundation, because you assume the models actually have the right products.

    • patyuen

      I had to Google caboodle. Is that like asking a model to model a used thong bikini?

  • Makeup artists: showing up on a set with a caboodle kit full of your own (personal) makeup. Ask that the models bring their own foundation, because you assume the models actually have the right products.

    • patyuen

      I had to Google caboodle. Is that like asking a model to model a used thong bikini?

  • “You think the rest of the world gives a damn about your boyfriend.” LOL. My favorite. Loved this post!

  • “You think the rest of the world gives a damn about your boyfriend.” LOL. My favorite. Loved this post!

  • What do you mean I can’t be a fashion model? I’m at least 6’1″ in the tall heels!

  • What do you mean I can’t be a fashion model? I’m at least 6’1″ in the tall heels!