What If Apple Did Public Relations For These Recent Cases

Apple issued a statement on their Web site yesterday regarding the RavMonE.exe worm they introduced into the Video IPod. In their statement, they took a swipe at Windows for not being more “hardy against such viruses”. Specifically, they said: “As you might imagine, we are upset at Windows for not being more hardy against such viruses, and even more upset with ourselves for not catching it.”

What if Apple issued public relations statements for these recent cases?

Mel Gibson

As you might imagine, I was upset at all the Jews for not being more hardy against such tirades, and even more upset with myself for drinking and speaking.”

President George W. Bush on waterboarding

As you might imagine, I was upset at the American public for not being more hardy against such alleged torture techniques, and even more upset with myself for not being able to explain it. I don’t want to talk about techniques. And — but I do share the American people that we were within the law. And we don’t torture. We — I’ve said all along to the American people we won’t torture, but we need to be in a position where we can interrogate these people.

John Mark Karr

“As you might imagine, I am upset at the Colorado prosecutor for not being more aggressive in charging me in the Jon Benet Ramsey case, and even more upset with myself for getting away with the John F. Kennedy assassination.

Congressman Mark Foley

As you might imagine, I am upset at the teenage pages for not being more hardy against such innocent advances, and even more upset with myself for believing Senator Ted Stevens when he assured me that he had deleted the series of tubes.”

Clueless in San Clemente. Woman calls 911 when Burger King wouldn’t let her have it her way.

Remember the old Burger King slogan “Have it your way”. It seems a woman in San Clemente, CA didn’t get her way so she called 911 to have them send a deputy for “protection”. Protection against what is open to question. Maybe she thought the western barbeque cheeseburger she wanted was the only safe route against the impending threat of a regular hamburger. She gives new meaning to the word clueless.

Listen to the two and half minute audio.